Bullying Information Ideas and Resources

Bullying is a hateful act by disturbed individuals.

Being victimized by bullies can be so hurtful and harmful. But there is help. For you or for someone you know the following could be a first consideration.

• There is nothing wrong with you just as you are.
• There is something very wrong with their actions.
• Others have survived this torture and so will you.
• If you are a victim there is help to get you through.
• You are deserving of a good life and you will have it.

It is not you - it is them.

Verbal or physical abuse by peers at work or school may be a real cause for fear yet it may indicate very well that the bullies have serious personal problems. They may feel a need to put others down in order to feel adequate. Perhaps they have serious family situations at home or they have other hurtful emotional issues that they express by being outwardly mean.

Can we feel sorry for them? Perhaps not, but we can consider the reasons why they have turned on you.

Maybe this is about something you have done, something embarrassing or much worse? Well no matter; so does mostly everyone else have shameful things buried in their closets, so free yourself from the worry, guilt and shame. If you have acted badly and can correct it and if you want to correct it, then do so. Otherwise pour it down the drain and forget it now and for all time.

If these bully sessions are about you as a person, your manners or appearance, then realize this: There is only one you in this world and you are unique - feel good about yourself just the way you are. You are a good person and that is what matters.

Talking it out can have wonderful positive results. If you can, discuss your feelings and concerns with a friend, your family, or someone with authority in your environment. A friend may very well have had bad experiences that they would like to unload, and you would both benefit. Anyway, a friend will be on your side and you may be very surprised with the help and suggestions someone else can gladly offer. It is almost always a comfort in confiding in others.

Benefiting from a friend is not a new idea and Marcus Cicero remarked over 2000 years ago; "Friendship improves happiness and abates misery by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief." And in more recent times Henry David Thoreau wrote; "A friend is one who takes me for what I am."

Those with the knowledge and ability to provide advice or help to victims are also there for you and there are numerous helpful resources available. So why not learn more about this sick act called bullying and how to deal with it. Help yourself, or perhaps someone else who is being bullied.

The MedlinePlus web site for patients and their families and friends offers some excellent help and resources on Dealing with Bullies. What Is Bullying? Prevention/Screening, Coping, Specific Conditions, Related Issues, Journal Articles, Organizations, Law and Policy, Statistics, Children, Teenagers.

Bullying is when a person or group repeatedly tries to harm someone who is weaker or who they think is weaker. Sometimes it involves direct attacks such as hitting, name calling, teasing or taunting. Sometimes it is indirect, such as spreading rumors or trying to make others reject someone.

Often people dismiss bullying among kids as a normal part of growing up. But bullying is harmful. It can lead children and teenagers to feel tense and afraid. It may lead them to avoid school. In severe cases, teens who are bullied may feel they need to take drastic measures or react violently. Others even consider suicide. For some, the effects of bullying last a lifetime.

Check out the bullying topics and resources at MedlinePlus:

And from FOCUS ADOLESCENT SERVICES a comprehensive internet site of information and resources on teen and family issues:

Bullying is abusive behavior by one or more students against a victim or victims. It can be a direct attack -- teasing, taunting, threatening, stalking, name-calling, hitting, making threats, coercion, and stealing -- or more subtle through malicious gossiping, spreading rumors, and intentional exclusion. Both result in victims becoming socially rejected and isolated.

Boys tend to use physical intimidation or threats, regardless of the gender of their victims. Bullying by girls is more often verbal, usually with another girl as the target. Cyber-bullying by both boys and girls -- in online chat rooms, e-mail, and text-messaging -- is increasing.

Bullying is a common experience for many children and teens. Direct bullying seems to increase through the elementary school years, peak in the middle school/junior high school years, and decline during the high school years. Although direct physical assault seems to decrease with age, verbal abuse appears to remain constant.

Whether the bullying is direct or indirect, the key component of bullying is physical or psychological intimidation that occurs repeatedly over time to create an ongoing pattern of harassment and abuse.

Read more at Focus Adolescent Services...

Kids Health from Nemours site has articles for parents, kids and teens.

If your child is being bullied, there are ways to help him or her cope with it on a day-to-day basis and lessen its lasting impact. And even if bullying isn't an issue right in your house right now, it's important to discuss it so your kids will be prepared if it does happen.

• Why Is My Child Anxious About Going to School?
• When Should I Intervene During Teasing?
• How Can I Teach My Daughter Tolerance?
• Anxiety, Fears, and Phobias
• Getting Involved at Your Child's School
• How Can Parents Help Kids Handle Teasing?
• How Can I Help My Child Deal With a Bully?

Read more...

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32 KEYS - A collection of ideas about life

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Social Bullying is Big Business

The corporate use of bully marketing has increased considerably in over the years. Shaming consumers as one way to convince them that they need certain products. As we compare our possessions with one another we tend to develop a need to belong to a certain material status and perhaps keep ahead to be really cool and admired. In competing this way with one another we travel down an unnatural path.

Bullying is an intimidating, harmful mental or physical act directed at an individual and rooted in meanness. Milder, widespread bullying is often associated with consumerism, both by individuals in a social group and by corporate marketers greedily playing on social fears to create false desires - for their goods.

We are constantly bombarded with persuasions to improve our lives artificially by acquiring more things. We must have newer, bigger, better cars, the latest branded styles, gadgets, higher end homes and furniture and we should look beautiful too. Acquire these things or we might feel inferior.

A promotional technique used by corporations seeking higher profits is to make people feel inadequate if they do not own a certain product, because the smart good looking people have it. The marketing can be crafty and cunning often convincing us that life will not be OK, unless we gain the acceptance or admiration of others. An individual captured by this type of marketing might feel inadequate and even humiliated unless possessing these 'necessities'. And it can be very difficult to resist if peers have already given in to the pressure.

The result of all this can be a strong underlying urge to compete and raise one's standing at the office, school or neighborhood. This can be harmful or even devastating to those who will not or cannot keep up. Youths can be very stressed in these situations as they worry about socializing and their future. Various forms of bullying can result in sad personal consequences including social anxieties or worse.

Advertisers Strike it Rich Targeting Kids
"Advertisers now spend more than $230 billion a year, or $2,190 per household, according to advertising giant McCann-Erickson, and there is little question that much of that advertising is designed to effectively target kids. Kids 12-19 spent a record $155 billion of their own money in 2001, up from $63 billion just four years earlier. And according to kids marketing expert James McNeal, children aged 12 and under influenced more than $500 billion of their parents' purchases in 2000."
More with tips for parents from the New American Dream.

Steve Kravit and Jacqueline express concerns in a Scribd paper
Shaping Society with a Lack of Shape: Media Representation and Body Image
"We are each exposed to over 2000 ads a day, constituting perhaps one of the most indirectly powerful educational forces in society relating to our self body image. It can be seen that advertisements ultimately sell a great deal more than products; they sell values, images, and concepts of success and worth
. . .
They in a sense tell us who we are and who we should strive to be. Men and women, teens, boys and girls—all segments of society tie identity to the way people look, to body size and shape, to clothes and even one’s hairstyle.

Therefore, the way we view our body and image can have a tremendous impact on the way we feel about ourselves. For most people, especially adolescents, body image is strongly influenced by mass media and advertising."
Read more on Media Representation and Body Image . . .

Further reading on this topic is the book Brand Name Bullies: The Quest to Own and Control Culture. It gives an impassioned, darkly amusing look at how corporations misuse copyright and trademark law to stifle creativity and free speech. More info and resources.

Life should not be about the phony materialistic images shoved in our faces. Satisfaction about who we are, about friends, families and the natural world around us is what we need to embrace.

Styles promote a competitive environment but friendship grows easier in a noncompetitive environment.

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