Life Happiness Tips

If I had my life to live over
I'd do a much better job
and from an early age.


"This strange disease of modern life with its sick hurry, its divided aims."


That sounds like the times in which we now live but it was written in the 1800's by Matthew Arnold. These are stressful times and some personal encouragement might be required.


Grampa's personal all-time best tips for a happy life.

Happiness is inside us, in our thoughts. It is not material things or experiences, but the enjoyment of what we are thinking. Our thoughts, and therefore our happiness, are up to us. So why put it off until we have more of anything? Henry Ward Beecher wisely advised, "You are only sure of today; do not let yourself be cheated of it."

Worry and fear can hurt us badly but we mustn't let it. If we fear or are worried about something we should fix, and can fix, and want to fix, then we should do so. Or we can forget it and feel better! "If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying? If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?" - Shantideva

Values need reviewing regularly. Most of us go through life always wanting more and better, much of which does not bring peace of mind. It is normal to want something for ourselves and our families, but of what value and how much will it cost in terms of real life? How many extra hours of stress and anxiety, now and later, are required? Aesop in BC had it right. "A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety."

Stress abounds in a fast paced society but it can be tamed. To improve upon a stressful way of life reassess your goals and routines. If possible, simplify, and eliminate those things which are not necessary to a contented life. In a stressful situation slow down. Visualize your way out of your tension by picturing a very calm and peaceful setting. Use deep easy breathing frequently.

Confidence seems difficult or impossible to achieve for many of us. Happily it is a habit that can be improved. For starters forget trying to be perfect in the eyes of others and feel good about yourself just the way you are. There is plenty of room on earth for us who are not superstars. "The finest lives, in my opinion, are those who rank in the common model, and with the human race, but without miracle, without extravagance." - Michel de Montaigne (1553-1592)

Feeling hopeless and sick may seem very appropriate and unique to your situation, but you should know that many of us have suffered similar or worse experiences and survived very well. And so will you. To counteract the feeling of hopelessness, list those assets which you possess. Perhaps some of these: family, youth, friends, health, job, home, nature, pets, garden, music, faith, books . . . .

Kindness benefits both ways. Many wise people have stated a very important relationship between our feelings toward others, and the way we feel. By thinking of and being thoughtful of other people, we get our thoughts away from ourselves and whatever is causing our anxieties. It's simple according to Benjamin Franklin. "When you are good to others, you are best to yourself."

Anger may seem justified when we have been hurt, however let's review the situation and consider the facts and effects. Who is being harmed by our anger or revenge? If we are sickened and cause ourselves more harm, what is the sense? There is also another point of view, expressed by Arnold Bennett in the 1800's, "It's hard to have one's watch stolen, but one reflects that the thief of the watch became a thief from causes of heredity and environment which are as interesting as they are scientifically comprehensible; and one buys another watch, if not with joy, at any rate with a philosophy that makes bitterness impossible."

Relax. Create a detailed peaceful retreat in your imagination, and at different times during the day, go there to calm your feelings. Picture it in vivid detail. Perhaps a comfortable room with soft music. A quiet place in the woods. A placid fishing lake. A beautiful garden with flowers, trees, birds, water falls. Perhaps such a place already exists. While you are there, let go of everything except where you are.

Problems? Confidently and calmly:
Gather all the facts.
Describe the problem in detail.
List all the possible solutions.
List the advantages and disadvantages of each.
Detail what to do.
And follow through.

Guilt. We should think about the wrong we have done long enough to realize it fully. Make amends if possible and determine actions in future situations. Avoid experiences that result in guilt by not judging, blaming, or harming others. Go easy on yourself, accept that everyone makes mistakes. "We ought not to look back unless it is to derive useful lessons from past errors, and for the purpose of profiting by dear-brought experience." - George Washington.

Love is such an asset and it can also have problems. One description of love might be the desire for two people to spend their lives together, with a continuing compassion for each other through good and bad times. Joseph Addison (1672-1719) puts it quite nicely, "Two persons who have chosen each other out of all the species with a design to be each other's mutual comfort and entertainment have, in that action, bound themselves to be good-humored, affable, discreet, forgiving, patient, and joyful, with respect to each other's frailties and perfections, to the end of their lives."

Criticism of others can make ourselves look very bad. By listening and making an effort to see others' viewpoints, there will be less pressure to perform and tasks at hand will be made easier. The added friendliness returned to us will be uplifting. "He will succeed if he remains firm in principle and goes beyond selfish considerations to mingle freely with those who do not share his feelings, as well as those who do." - I Ching

Sleep tight suggestions. Quietly relaxing in the evening is most helpful. Alcohol usually sets a mental alarm clock for about 2am. Trying to put yourself to sleep seems to have the opposite effect. Instead of clamping your eyes tight, try leaving them lightly open to roam the room, or fix them on an insignificant object. Think peaceful scenes. Consider that you may not need so much sleep. Limit tossing to 15-20 minutes then get up and watch some boring TV or work on an easy crossword book, directing your mind away from what was agitating.

Cheerfulness comes from acting cheerful because it's very difficult to act one way and feel the opposite. So smile and get smiles returned! "What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. They are but trifles, to be sure, but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable." - Joseph Addison (1672-1719)

Humility as well as self-confidence is necessary in a well balanced life. It gives us a realistic approach to interacting with other people which makes us feel good. Alexander Pope suggested, "A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is by saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday."

Meditate. Short and easy.
Find a quiet place by yourself.
Get in a relaxed position.
Rest your eyes downward, lightly closed.
Breathe slowly and naturally.
Think only about what you are doing for 15-20 minutes.

Reading self-help and improvement will have a very short term positive affect if it is not practiced. That's because our minds are receiving negative input continually and this is what will dominate unless we practice. Reviewing, reading and re-reading our own life-enhancing preferences will result in a positive advantage. It's worth it the effort, we're only passing through once!


Grampa Ken ~ Author of 32 KEYS About Life and Blogger at Social-Fix

These Life Tips are not professional advice. They are Creative Commons and free to copy provided that the above hyperlinked byline is intact.