Ideas That Can Make Life So Good

If I had my life to live over I'd do a much better job and from an early age.

March 2012

Yet I'm very happy here and now. As we should all be, especially if we have sufficient accommodation, food and clothing.

If we do have all the basic necessities and are still weighted down with worries, tensions or emptiness, a few personal positive changes could be a big help in bringing increased happiness and a better life.

"This strange disease of modern life with its sick hurry, its divided aims." Sounds like the times in which we now live but it was written in the 1800's by Matthew Arnold. Stress is not uncommon but at this point in time it seems to be very much on the rise for so many. Our present social environment can make us feel anxious, empty or downright miserable if we do not have the right prescription for living well.

There are numerous happenings in our lives that can leave us feeling worried and depressed for long periods of time. But there is a wonderful prescribed set of ideas written on the topic of living wisely, much of which has been carried down through the ages. Some very helpful advice can be found repeatedly throughout these wise writings. We may only need to adopt our choices as our own treasures and keep them close at hand. A sampling is presented here.

A simple change of thought can provide an immediate improvement in how we are feeling at any moment. Initially this may not be easy to do and will require practice, but the results can be so valuable in eliminating those bad moments.

Cheerfulness will come from acting cheerful because it is very difficult to act one way and feel the opposite. Happiness is in our thoughts, it is not material things or experiences, but it is what we are thinking, now. So focus on pleasant ideas, words and experiences and feel better.

Smile and be smiled at! We are not likely to feel angry or upset when smiles are exchanged. Such a simple act with such a positive effect, and so said Joseph Addison (1672-1719); "What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. They are but trifles, to be sure, but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Our values should be reviewed from to time. So many of us go through life always wanting more and better, much of which does not bring peace of mind and often just the opposite. It is normal to want more for ourselves and our families, but of what value will it truly be and how much will it cost in terms of real life? How many extra hours of stress and anxiety, now and later, are required? Anxieties abound in our social surroundings, even encouraged as we are continually bombarded with messages telling us that we must have more. But we do not need to go this way. We can eliminate those things which are not necessary for a contented life.

Carrying a heavy load of problems and worries for which there is no solution can take the enjoyment out of living, and worse, make us sick. Of course this is a complete waste of time. If our anxiety is about something we should fix, and can fix, and want to fix, then we should fix it. Otherwise we can forget it! Shantideva put this simply; "If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying? If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?"

In a stressful situation slow down and if you can, take a break. Visualize your way out of your tension by picturing a very calm and peaceful setting. Use deep easy breathing as a soother, and continue this regularly throughout the day.

Confidence seems difficult or impossible to achieve for many of us, but happily this can be improved upon. Personality might make it difficult but we can be content with doing what we can do. A good start is to forget trying to be perfect in the eyes of others and feel good ourselves. There is plenty of room on earth for us who are not superstars. There is only one you - you are unique and special in this world.

Feeling hopeless and sick might seem very appropriate and unique to your very difficult situation, but you should know that many of us have suffered similar or worse experiences and survived very well. So will you. To counteract the feeling of hopelessness, list those assets which you possess. Some of these: family, youth, friends, health, job, home, nature, pets, garden, music, faith, books...

Kindness benefits both ways. Many wise people have stated a very important relationship between our feelings toward others and how we feel. By thinking of and being thoughtful of other people, we get our thoughts away from ourselves and whatever is causing our misery. It's simple according to Benjamin Franklin; "When you are good to others, you are best to yourself."

Anger may seem justified when we have been hurt, however let's review the situation and consider the facts and effects. Who is being harmed by our anger or revenge? If we are sickened and causing ourselves more hurt, what is the sense? On this topic Arnold Bennett in the 1800's surmises; "It's hard to have one's watch stolen, but one reflects that the thief of the watch became a thief from causes of heredity and environment which are as interesting as they are scientifically comprehensible; and one buys another watch, if not with joy, at any rate with a philosophy that makes bitterness impossible."

Stress may attempt to intervene in your daily habits but do not permit it. Visit a peaceful retreat in your imagination, and at different times during the day, go there to calm your feelings. Picture it in vivid detail. Perhaps a comfortable room with soft music. A quiet place in the woods. A placid fishing lake. A beautiful garden with flowers, trees, birds, water falls. Perhaps such a place already exists for you. While you are there, let go of everything except where you are.

Guilt? Go easy on yourself and accept that we all make mistakes, or have done some very bad things that we so wish that we had not done. We can think about these but only long enough to review them initially; then make amends if possible, and if you want to. Finally determine better actions in future situations such as a avoiding experiences that result in guilt by not judging, blaming, or harming others - or yourself.

Love is such an asset but it can also involve problems with differences in opinion, manners and actions. One description of a long term loving relationship might be the desire for two people to spend their lives together, with a continuing compassion for each other through good and bad times. Joseph Addison put it quite nicely, "Two persons who have chosen each other out of all the species with a design to be each other's mutual comfort and entertainment have, in that action, bound themselves to be good-humored, affable, discreet, forgiving, patient, and joyful, with respect to each other's frailties and perfections, to the end of their lives."

In criticizing others we can make ourselves look bad and there can be repercussions. On the other hand listening and making an effort to see others' viewpoints results in less pressure to perform and tasks at hand will be made easier. The added friendliness returned to us will be uplifting. "He will succeed if he remains firm in principle and goes beyond selfish considerations to mingle freely with those who do not share his feelings, as well as those who do." - I Ching

Sleep tight suggestions. Quietly relaxing in the evening is most helpful to a peaceful night and a better tomorrow. An alcohol nightcap is relaxing but unfortunately usually sets a mental alarm clock for about 2am. Trying to put yourself to sleep has the opposite effect, so instead of clamping your eyes tight try leaving them lightly open to roam the room, or fix them on an insignificant object. Think peaceful scenes. Count sheep or count deep breaths. You can also consider that you do not need so much sleep and limit tossing to 15-20 minutes. Then get up and watch some boring TV or work on an easy crossword puzzle which will direct your mind away from what was agitating it. This can work very well and an hour or more of this and a return to bed can result in a sound shortened sleep.

Humility as well as self-confidence is necessary in a well-balanced life and this gives us a sound approach to interacting with other people. They feel good and we feel good, and another friend is added value in our lives. "Friendship improves happiness and abates misery by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief." - Marcus Cicero (BC)

So to improve our lives we can do what we would do to learn a trade, art or game; we can read and practice. A good place to start is the self-help or self-improvement section of the public library or bookstore. If you think that this is an odd place in which to be seen, think again. There are very many big selling self-help titles to choose from. These books are popular reading. Start with the most popular books on various self-help topics. Reread the better ones, highlight the best phrases, and take notes. Set aside fifteen minutes a day to help make good thinking and happy, satisfied feelings a way of life. It could be the best time investment you ever made.

Always consider professional medical help with difficult physical and mental health problems. We should not shy away from anything that could improve our lives.

This article is based on Grampa Ken's 32 KEYS A Collection of Ideas About Life. An online booklet online since 1999, it began with the accumulation of a few helpful tips on living well, much needed along the journey to here.



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Greed And Credit

The intensely marketed credit business is a big mean money making machine.

Feb 2012

 
Credit card companies are lined up for those account interest charges and have conscripted retailers to join the pack. With so many businesses involved and competing for the same loan interest profits, costs have escalated and in some areas ethics have nose dived.

Borrowing is a necessary part of living for many today where it provides assistance in buying basic necessities. Purchasing a first home or transportation for example. But taking on credit can be a drag on one's financial and personal well being, and it can be much worse when goaded into debt overload.

Credit marketers and other industries spend vast amounts of money emphasizing consumers 'need' to require more, much more than they truly need. And they make it sound easy - just charge it and own it now.

Sellers of credit work frantically to maximize profits while not necessarily providing fair value to consumers. As has been reported in the news, businesses along with their loan marketers have used some ruthless strategies in obtaining handsome profits. Slick tactics to encourage borrowing even when it is potentially hurtful is a cruel business.

These tactics have resulted in financial hardships and disasters for so many who may have been encouraged into unnecessary bad credit usage. The classic example has been the slick sales efforts of greedy companies who sold mortgages they knew were risky. But similar efforts are popular in many areas of lending and can be crippling to individuals and families who have been talked into excessive credit usage.  

MORTGAGES - Can you read this? You qualify!

Refused by bank, bad credit, bankrupt? Loans guaranteed.

  
Price gouging is not new to enterprise, in fact it can be seen regularly throughout the shopping experience. It is free enterprise where you can charge whatever someone is willing to pay. One of those gouging experts must have created the expression; "Greed is good" - though it be noxious, corrupting and hurtful. Sadly though, greed is profitable and can create wealth.

Much of the credit rates charged to borrowers have been excessively high for years, even while investment interest returns are historically low. With bank savings and term accounts paying 0.2% - 2.2% borrowing rates can be extremely higher. Retail credit card interests take off and can run as high as 29.9% on unpaid balances.

WOW! No wonder the massive marketing campaigns. Stores and others, as well as major credit card providers are circling around shoppers like a pack of wolves.

And so the continuing promotions; gross amounts of junk mail from major credit card companies, financial institutions, supermarkets, department stores and miscellaneous associations who can all issue their version of a major charge card for a fraction of the profit.

"Use your customer charge card and earn extra loyalty points." is one 'encouragement'.  But it gets worse.

Think you can entirely avoid owning and using your department store's credit charge card? It may not be that easy in the future as shrewd sellers are finding new ways to 'persuade' consumers to use their card to buy their products. I see a trend developing where increasingly the bargain price of a store item is tied to the store's charge card. No charge - no discount.

A recent trip to a department store sale had displays with products discounted in the area of 20%-30%. On some displays there were larger signs:

Use your customer charge card and earn extra loyalty points

So what are you going to do? Pay double?

You may never miss a payment but the poor soul who is struggling from payday to payday will sink deeper into debt and suffer the consequences of giving in to the persuasions.

Sure corporate mouth pieces may defend these exorbitant charges in saying their costs are high but that is largely because of the massive advertising expenditures. And then there are defaults where the trapped debtor could not pay and has declared bankruptcy.

Loan contract trickery may include confused, bloated wording and fine print; and a bag of costly surprises for the buyer after the transaction is made. This is a winning strategy for ruthless companies and now widely popular.

More negative consumer credit experiences may be coming in the news, brought on by always creative forms of corporate greed. It will be on the backs of low income families.

Consumers need fairness and protection in dealing with this type of business and it can only begin with governments that stand up for their citizens. They can investigate commercial behavior more closely, encouraging consumer input, and applying fixes that will require fair and ethical treatment of their citizens.

If they should ever care to.


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January 1, 2062: We live in such a wonderful era

2061 was another happy and peaceful year. Surely this will enter the history books as a time of widespread prosperity, love and happiness for all in this world. The continuing social improvements each year have meant so much; like the recent one hour reduction in the work week to 20 hours. This has helped personally in our expansion of the blueberries section of our garden, and of course there's more time for hiking, crafting, and other interesting stress less hobbies.
 
The new World Order with a just and central government has accomplished so much.

• Dictatorships are non-existent with a new democratic model that is true to all people.
• Management of local and global affairs is completely free of the corporate influences.
• With the peace structure now in place the possibility of future wars appears remote.
• The elimination of poverty, prejudice and human injustices has been accomplished.
• Today's friendly, happy and relaxed lifestyle is so much kinder to people and planet.

What a difference life is from the days of my grandparents early in this century. Researching online news databases turns up some surprising facts about the ills of society then. So many were so consumed with doing so many of the wrong things. There was great wasting of precious days while working excessively to accumulate more possessions. It was only to buy so many useless things that polluted badly and had no true value or wholesome or natural pleasures attached to them.

What were they thinking?
Society had become too fast, too nervous and nasty. In the age of too much, they gobbled up natural resources and competed frantically with fellow creatures for more of everything. They strived so hard to acquire that next thing, always pushed on by the big free enterprise marketing machines. In their efforts, family, friends and nature were often neglected and the world's unfortunate poor were all but forgotten by most.

There were so many conveniences and automatics in their world that they barely needed to lift a finger to do anything. Yet people stressed long and frantically to acquire the money to live this way. The majority were fixed on this 'achievement' of obtaining more goods and services. It does not make any sense but it was their lifestyle, even while so many starved and millions of newborns on the other side had virtually no chance of survival beyond a few painful years.

Corporations ran the show.
Commerce had attained the power to influence government in many ways and very convincingly (and profitably) shaped citizens' habits. Business received preferences from government to the citizens' disadvantage and social displeasure continued to grow.

Commercial interests designed consumers' life styles; the clothes, cars, homes and other products they bought, and even how they should interact socially and as a family. The tool used was advertising which had increased in volume and intensity for so many years that it was virtually everywhere - on TV, telephone, internet, junk mail, buses, arenas, public buildings... Citizens were subjected to 1000's of ads each day. There were even advertisements on people's clothing which the wearers were proud to display for the manufacturer.

Great advances in medical technologies extended life spans even though they were increasingly plagued with sicknesses such as obesity, cancer and diabetes. Flashy ads for unhealthy food products received much of the blame as it extended to children through immense advertising with cute logos and fun attractions.

Real fun was disappearing.
Family time had taken on a new meaning with extra work and shopping hours. In the home there were separate TV's for parents and children and viewed in separate rooms. Healthy exposure to nature, outdoor games and exercise practically disappeared and were not included at all in many families' lives.

The production and disposal of unnecessities was devastating the environment. Consuming was the thing and there was so much to buy, much of it so flashy and so grand. Imagine owning a 6000 pound automobile and never walking several blocks to a store or riding public transit. Family homes sometimes had 10 or more huge, beautifully furnished rooms that took so much time to maintain, and so much of life to earn the money to pay for it.

Competition to appear better than average became a social 'value' for so many, often occupying their lives and diluting values in the process. Corporate marketing encouraged this and was mean as they had set their sights on children for a life long conscription. Morally wrong, but the young would supply a continuation of profits for another generation. But product design and marketing creativity would eventually peak when lifestyles become too tiring and people wanted something better.

Ethics abandoned.
Corporations became monstrous and the competition vicious as they scrambled for sales. Moral principles were abandoned at an increasing rate as there were inadequate government restrictions or they were not enforced. In some industries the extent of marketing deception was unbelievable according to today's standards. Some very strange and disturbing ways of doing business became popular and were used across industries. Cunning and devious methods to trick consumers out of their money proliferated.

Fine print was only one popular way to hide true costs, to sell inferior products or trap buyers into regrettable contracts; "The warranty only..." "Assumes no responsibility..." "Some conditions apply..." Ads and agreements required careful study, word by word, and then you had to take your chances because it was too difficult to understand.

Deceitful ads were everywhere; it was hard to believe any of it anymore. The worst was food packaging - a serious health issue. The label's bold lettering did not indicate contents like excess saturated fat, salt, sugar, preservatives, taste enhancers, and insecticides. That was in faded, small and hard to read print.

Getting scammed by a sly marketing scheme or trapped in an agreement was no longer a big deal, it happened all the time. Almost nobody complained, because if they did the response was usually fluff, perhaps delivered by a fast talking customer relations mouthpiece. Buyers might even feel embarrassed for getting tricked again.

The credit business was big and profitable and mean. Enticements and offers were in the mailbox regularly. Gouging with excessive rates and lending to those who could not afford it trapped so many causing personal bankruptcies.

Sports were real big but suggestions were that they were made big for viewing, for advertising, for business. Pro athletes were paid many millions as average sports loving families could not afford game tickets. Companies bought season tickets to pass out as 'gifts'. Weirder yet - while dog and bird fighting were cruel and strictly against the law, arenas were packed with 25000 people who came to watch hockey players administer black eyes and teeth removal on the opponent players.

Gambling was illegal except for government as they profited from lotteries and casinos through out the country. It was done with intense advertising campaigns encouraging citizens to "GET RICH". The results included broken families, suicides and profit in the name of the taxpayer. But they did caution; "Gambling can lead to financial and legal problems, loss of career and family, and other serious issues." No kidding!

The rich-poor gap in an unjust world. The inequality in revenue between the wealthiest and poorest citizens widened out of proportion. It was just too easy to acquire more when at the top and too difficult when struggling to survive at the bottom. Coverage of poverty issues was overwhelmed by reports on entertainment, sports and rich lifestyles. The globalization of trade did not always significantly improve the lives of workers in developing countries. Desperately needing income they often worked excessive hours, in difficult and unhealthy conditions, at very low pay to deliver low cost products to big enterprise for huge markups.

10 million children were dying every year of hunger and easily preventable diseases while over here millions suffered from obesity.

Natural areas of fields and forests, rivers and oceans were gradually turning into mammoth garbage deposits from the great consumption binge. So much stuff became completely obsolete in just a few years. Environmental destruction had become a popular topic as the globe got warmer, and yet junk marketing of unneeded stuff marched on, and they kept on buying. 'Free' enterprise's drive for greater sales and profits resulted in continually expanding wasteful consumption.

A big problem: Which corporations would cut back profits for the good of people and the world?

There was increasing interest in bringing more attention to these worldly ailments and to make things better. But the voices for positive change had been extremely week compared to the massively funded corporate promotions, denial campaigns and consumer marketing. Private broadcasting media kept things moving wrongly. Governments were apparently content with the bad ways of business as many wealthy politicians were benefiting in some way. The false prosperity had created a merry-go-round run amok and a degradation of true social well being.

Peace in paradise.
Then much as trends sometimes take hold and spread through a nation and then around the world, so did the desire for peace, simplicity and truer life values. People were saying; "There is a better way!" Conscience and good sense were affecting a new generation as never before as people's main interest became justice and happiness, for themselves and for all others.  

The internet was given credit as the tool used to initiate, discuss and bring about real positive change in society. The personal generosity and persistence of a relative few had spread to very many as the idea that good for others was better for you, and that simple was a most satisfying way to live.

And today we are so grateful to all those people who demanded social improvement. They should see democracy now; citizens telling the corporations what they can and cannot do, with government making it work - for the people.

Thank you for bringing us to this garden of enchantment and plenty for all.



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Materialism and Happiness

Tis the Season to Consume, to Waste and Spoil.
 
Unless you should choose to do otherwise,
for the well being of the world and for you and yours.

Consumerism: The continuing desire to acquire more and better goods and services. The belief that an accumulation and consumption of more than is needed demonstrates success and achieves happiness.

Procuring material excesses in order to live the good life is a fallacy of our times.

Materialism and Happiness; it is not necessarily a choice of basic or too much and many people in this world would be happier with more money - to buy basic necessities - the poor. For the rest of us it is a balancing act where, after a certain point, the effort to earn more money and have more possessions begins to take from our peace and happiness.

Increasingly in our consumer world the excessive efforts required to accumulate more riches brings on all kinds of problems including anxieties and poor health. It usually requires special efforts including theft of life's precious hours and days.

Too often extraordinary dedication and energy are used to accumulate grand possessions, and more often than we read about, crime is the means to ‘succeed’. Some extremely rich and powerful business people have ended up behind bars, and they are only a fraction of those who belong there. The final results of getting to the top can be empty, disappointing or disastrous.

Those that succeed in attaining riches are not necessarily any happier at all, particularly if they have stressed all along the way, or are still yearning for more. This is often the case and the news frequently contains incidents of family failures, addictions and other sad experiences of popular people. How many entertainment and sports heroes and other rich and famous idols have fallen into pits of anguish? Living with tensions and so far removed from the basic natural pleasures that life has to offer.

At the other extreme you may have noted on TV, scenes of people in poorer nations, particularly children, happily enjoying themselves in very impoverished surroundings. Those that have at least the basics; food, clothing and shelter. That should send an important message.

Protect yourself against affluenza, n. a painful, contagious, socially transmitted condition of overload, debt, anxiety and waste resulting from the dogged pursuit of more. - Wikipedia

Average citizens have been programmed, to some degree, to the consumer lifestyle. They are encouraged daily to feel better and more important with bigger, better, newer stuff. However this self-indulgence can be artificial and short term as each new possession fades away. Meanwhile days get busier and feelings edgier if falling behind the trends, even when accumulating considerable new things.

Consumed with the idea of always wanting more puts one in a state of continual frustration, forever in need, artificially. For many keeping up with peers can be a life long struggle, depending on finances and how the continuous marketing hype affects them. To add to the negative effects, so much of what was shrewdly marketed with slick ads does not meet basic expectations after purchase, or is junk.

Materialism places a burden on families as quality time together lessens or disappears.

Everywhere in countries that have prospered, excesses prevail even while there exists a lack of basic requirements for so many of their people. Even while so much of the world's people live in abject poverty. It is so imbalanced; a world of abundance and wastage, and a world of misery and hopelessness.

Where excesses are widespread they can be magnificent. Houses have grown immensely over the years using up more land and natural resources to build them, fuel to keep them cozy and furniture to fill them. Consumers want more impressive homes and although there may be much more space in which to roam, spacious rooms do not necessarily translate to cozy comfort. And there is the extra cost that can be a hindrance to other more enjoyable and healthier experiences.

The auto industry has made many fortunes selling us more than we need but may be reaching the tipping point. They are just too costly for mother earth and her inhabitants.

The merchandising of styles and the branding of consumers, children in particular, has worked enormously well for industry. It is not working well for families and society in general. Styles promote a competitive environment while friendship grows healthier in a noncompetitive environment.

Many, if not most, are on a consumer treadmill and would like to slow it down or get right off, but there is always that pressure applied to keep going. What is most upsetting is that this pressure has been directed at kids, conscripting them to a life dedicated to 'needing' and consuming.

It is the corporate agenda, massively funded and very powerful.

Simple peaceful living with smaller, lesser, basic.
There are obvious advantages to toning down our consumption which may not be obvious to those addicted to the persuasion box and other marketing media's assembly line output of temptations.

A generally calmer and happier existence should be a direct result of a simpler lifestyle, working less anxiously with generous amounts of free time for hobbies, play and family at home. Turning off the TV and heading outdoors could be the first and easiest way to get started on a positive improvement routine.

En masse as a social trend, simple living would result in much needed easing to the destruction of our lands, seas and animals.

Remember that this widespread consuming mania is designed by corporations for corporations so do yourself a favor and live easier and happier - get off the treadmill.

"A society in which consumption has to be artificially stimulated in order to keep production going is a society founded on trash and waste, and such a society is a house built on sand." - Dorothy L. Sayers

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