May 2012What a wonderful way to increase happiness and live with reduced tensions, worries and regrets.
Forgetting the bad memories, the unfortunate or painful experiences of recent or long ago, can have such a favorable influence on our wellbeing. By doing so we will have a mental capacity which we can fill with thoughts that heal, making life healthier and happier. It may take some practice but with a bit of effort and change of habit the result is so worthwhile.
There should be very some or many nice experiences back there, they just need exposure. And we plan for more feel-good situations for the journey ahead. We can also use our imagination - it also works well.
When the downers pop up, there are probably lots of them, immediately recall some uppers. If we realize that there is nothing that can be done to change a past event, then it is a no-brainer. To keep remembering negative happenings is wasteful and harmful.
With practice it gets easy to change our thinking - simply flip the switch and look into your collection of nice stories. There is not room for both good and bad thoughts simultaneously, so choose to think about what will be most beneficial to you for the moment. If need be create some fictional happy scenes. Why wouldn't you if it is uplifting?
With these simple regimens practiced and continued, negative thinking and sickly feelings can be a lost habit.
The human brain stores all experiences from childhood to old age, I have I read of a prominent psychiatrist's findings. This would explain why a thought might suddenly occur about something that happened when we were only three or four years old, even though fifty years or more have elapsed. Something has triggered that thought to come to mind in the present.
I believe this and I have memories to keep and recall for my personal enjoyment and benefit.
When I was about four years old, 73 years ago, my brother and I were trekking around that same city block on Halloween night. I was looking up at a lady standing in the porch doorway and she asked; "Haven't you been here before?" I do not remember if my very innocent reply; "yes, two times" made her laugh or not. Let's say that she found it very amusing.
One of my first early childhood writing tasks was copying a recipe from a magazine for my mom. In a child's printing I listed the ingredients and instructions concluding with; "Always use Maple Leaf Sausages..."
A few years later when mother was in the hospital for a week bro and I stayed with family friends out on a farm. When later asked about our stay there, we would emphasize the highlight of our visit, the event of a squirrel running up Mrs. Broughton's leg.
Nature and gardening interested me at an early age. I had dug up some nice looking flowers down by the creek and planted them against our house. As I was finishing up a little old neighbor lady came over and told me how nice they looked, and I then learned what tiger lilies looked like. Flowers cheer up and we would often take home a bouquet of wild roses clipped from one of the trails that we traveled through on our bikes.
I always enjoyed sports but had great difficulty with some. In grade school during lunch break we played ball - I was hopeless but joined in anyway. Whenever I came to bat the outfield all moved to inside the bases. Somewhat demoralizing to me at the time but funny now.
As the public school years wound down my school buddy and I were getting very interested in skiing, hockey, fishing and the wonderful outdoors, developing a love for nature which would last a lifetime. There were so many joyous moments like the simple act of heating up a can of beans over the campfire.
High school would bring on some stresses though, but only the happy and funny need be recalled. As one day I was riding my bike to school when there were four girls from my class walking ahead on the sidewalk. I veered to the left side of the road to have a few words with them on my way by - and ran straight into a hydro pole.
For a while I had this ritual where after school I walked downtown to the butcher shop, to pick up scrap bones for my dog. I would then climb onto the street car and head homeward. As we pulled up to the trolley stop there would be sitting and waiting for me, my dog Rags and his big fat friend Spot. So happy to see me!
There were so many more recent memorable times and little incidents in raising a family that bring feel good smiles when recalled. Like our five month old daughter sitting in the highchair with lips clamped tight because she didn't want any more of that stuff. Or our son's first venture into answering the phone with; "Hazzo." Little things for sure but gathered over the years, a great value to one's well-being.
While most of these cheerful moments from way back may be deeply buried the more recent ones are naturally more easily recalled and work well in uplifting the spirit. And so this carries on with watching the grandkids learning to walk and talk and pass through school, perhaps experiencing the same things I did many years ago. From wee expressions like; "where's Gampa?" or "me the boss!" to the carefully hand printed and sketched cheerful greeting cards expressing love.
And they can grow and gather their own collection of happy experiences to fill a treasure chest for later times. Reviewing keepsakes, photos and words of a family growing through the years will be worth repeating often. For families starting out, a diary of sweet and heart-warming events will be interesting while compiling it, and memorable in the following years for grandparents, for parents, and grandkids.
Why not make a compilation of these from your earlier years, and if young start a journal.
What about the regretful things done to myself and to others?
I have had many bad experiences including gut wrenching regrets and guilt, but I have chosen to let them fade away, back into deep unlit storage. They are still there of course but in darkness they will remain. For many years now I have refused to rethink the negative past because it feels so terrible and serves no good purpose.
Those things that we wish we could relive in a better and kinder way, and with a more pleasant outcome can haunt us - but only if we allow it.
Regarding any particular past experience that is haunting us, if there is some way to make amends that will help and we wish to do so, that should still be a consideration. If not then we can regard it as a learning experience after reviewing it once or twice. We can determine what to do and what not do in the future. Then forget the undesirable thing for all time.
Life is good if our thoughts are good. So be generous, kind and forgiving to others - and to yourself.
Related articles on positive living Short url link to this article = http://goo.gl/fG57l
- Remove worries, guilt, and all bad feelings
- Review Happy memories and keep handy
- Feel good with clear and pleasant thoughts
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