Recall and review the feel good happenings in life.
Live each day well with sweet pleasant memories.
Many past experiences understandably have a great influence on our lives and how we are feeling now. Sometimes that feeling is very low or painful. The good news is that in recalling past events we can select the feel good stories and feel good. It may take some practice but with a bit of effort it can be a satisfying and enjoyable way of passing through our days happily.
I once read that all experiences reside in the mind for life though they may never resurface except if triggered in some way. Some personal happenings from way back pop up now and again because they made a lasting impression, and this is the time to be selective. When the downers resurface immediately recall the uppers; there are lots of them. It gets easy with practice - simply flip the switch and look back there for some nice stories when those unpleasant memories begin to resurface. There is not room for both good and bad thoughts simultaneously so choose to think about what will be most beneficial to you for the moment.
As I do so down now in putting some happy memories here, which is uplifting and satisfying to me as I write each word.
It was about 1939 and Halloween night as I went from house to house to house with my seven year old brother. We had been at this for a while when we once again arrived at a door and hollered; "Halloween Treats!" The lady appeared, hesitated and asked; "Haven't you been here before?" - "Yes two times." I replied honestly.
Perhaps one of my first experiences in writing was to copy a recipe from a magazine for my mom. In a child's printing I concluded the ingredients list and instructions with something like; "Always use Maple Leaf Sausages..." It was a few years later when mother was in the hospital for a week and bro and I stayed with family friends out on a farm. When later asked about our stay there we would emphasize the highlight of our visit, the event of a squirrel running up Mrs. Broughton's leg.
Nature and gardening interested me at an early age and I had dug up some nice looking flowers down by the creek and planted them against our house. As I was finishing up a little old neighbor lady came over and told me how nice they looked, and I then learned what tiger lilies looked like. Flowers cheer up and we would often take home a bouquet of wild roses clipped from one of the trails that we traveled through on our bikes.
As the public school years wound down my school buddy and I were getting very interested in skiing, hockey, fishing and the wonderful outdoors, developing a love for nature which would last a lifetime. There were so many joyous moments like the simple act of heating up a can of beans over the campfire. High school would bring on some stresses though but only the happy and funny need be recalled or reviewed now or at any time. As one day I was riding my bike to school when there were four girls from my class walking ahead on the sidewalk. I veered to the left side of the road to have a few words with them on my way by - and ran straight into a hydro pole.
There were so many memorable times and little incidents in raising a family that bring feel good smiles when recalled. Like our five month old daughter sitting in the highchair with lips clamped tight because she didn't want any more of that stuff. Or our son's first venture into answering the phone with; "Hazzo." Little things for sure but gathered over the years, a great value to one's wellbeing.
While most of these cheerful moments from way back may be deeply buried the more recent ones are naturally more easily recalled and work well in uplifting the spirit. And so this carries on with watching the grandkids learning to walk and talk and pass through school, perhaps experiencing the same things I did 55-65 years ago. From wee expressions like; "Where's Gampa?" or "Me the boss!" to the carefully hand printed and sketched cheerful greeting cards expressing love.
And they grow and gather their own collection of happy experiences to fill a treasure chest for later times. Collecting and reviewing keepsakes, photos and words of a family growing through the years will keep the memories worth going back to again and again. For families starting out, a diary of sweet and heart warming events will be so encouraging while compiling it, and in the following years, for parents, children and grandparents.
Life is good if our thoughts are good; not so good if we dwell on unfortunate negative happenings, and we do have that choice. I have had some very bad experiences and regrets that would devastate me to this day - if I focused on them for any amount of time - but I absolutely refuse to do so. We all make mistakes and sometimes they cause ourselves and others much worry and suffering. We can be depressed and burdened with these regrets for many years, never forgiving ourselves, never forgetting our actions. Carrying on in this way is a huge mistake that can upset our lives in very unpleasant and painful ways.
It is not necessary. Worrying about something that has already happened is a complete waste of time, if it is only to wish that it hadn't happened. Wishing won't do it - there is absolutely nothing that will change it. Forget it!
Regarding any particular past experience that is haunting us, if there is some way to make amends that will help and we wish to do so, that should still be a consideration. If not then we can regard it as a learning experience after reviewing it once or twice and then we can determine what to do and what not do, in the future.
Negative thoughts about the past will keep coming back now and again, and unless we are occupied with other useful healthier thoughts, they can settle in for a very long time. Feeding the brain with encouraging and fun ideas and memories when that 'thing' returns can be so very effective in ridding the agonizing regrets for the long haul.
So be generous, kind and forgiving to others - and to yourself. Remember the good.
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