Social Fix: Articles on Living in Today's Changing Society: children

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Bullying Information Ideas and Resources

Bullying is a hateful act by disturbed individuals.

Being victimized by bullies can be so hurtful and harmful. But there is help. For you or for someone you know the following could be a first consideration.

There is nothing wrong with you just as you are.
There is something very wrong with their actions.
Others have survived this torture and so will you.
If you are a victim there is help to get you through.
You are deserving of a good life and you will have it.

It is not you - it is them.

Verbal or physical abuse by peers at work or school may be a real cause for fear yet it may indicate very well that the bullies have serious personal problems. They may feel a need to put others down in order to feel adequate. Perhaps they have serious family situations at home or they have other hurtful emotional issues that they express by being outwardly mean.

Can we feel sorry for them? Perhaps not, but we can consider the reasons why they have turned on you.

Maybe this is about something you have done, something embarrassing or much worse? Well no matter; so does mostly everyone else have shameful things buried in their closets, so free yourself from the worry, guilt and shame. If you have acted badly and can correct it and if you want to correct it, then do so. Otherwise pour it down the drain and forget it now and for all time.

If these bully sessions are about you as a person, your manners or appearance, then realize this: There is only one you in this world and you are unique - feel good about yourself just the way you are. You are a good person and that is what matters.

Talking it out can have wonderful positive results. If you can, discuss your feelings and concerns with a friend, your family, or someone with authority in your environment. A friend may very well have had bad experiences that they would like to unload, and you would both benefit. Anyway, a friend will be on your side and you may be very surprised with the help and suggestions someone else can gladly offer. It is almost always a comfort in confiding in others.

Benefiting from a friend is not a new idea and Marcus Cicero remarked over 2000 years ago; "Friendship improves happiness and abates misery by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief." And in more recent times Henry David Thoreau wrote; "A friend is one who takes me for what I am."

Those with the knowledge and ability to provide advice or help to victims are also there for you and there are numerous helpful resources available. So why not learn more about this sick act called bullying and how to deal with it. Help yourself, or perhaps someone else who is being bullied.

The MedlinePlus web site for patients and their families and friends offers some excellent help and resources on Dealing with Bullies. What Is Bullying? Prevention/Screening, Coping, Specific Conditions, Related Issues, Journal Articles, Organizations, Law and Policy, Statistics, Children, Teenagers.

Bullying is when a person or group repeatedly tries to harm someone who is weaker or who they think is weaker. Sometimes it involves direct attacks such as hitting, name calling, teasing or taunting. Sometimes it is indirect, such as spreading rumors or trying to make others reject someone.

Often people dismiss bullying among kids as a normal part of growing up. But bullying is harmful. It can lead children and teenagers to feel tense and afraid. It may lead them to avoid school. In severe cases, teens who are bullied may feel they need to take drastic measures or react violently. Others even consider suicide. For some, the effects of bullying last a lifetime.

Check out the bullying topics and resources at MedlinePlus:

And from FOCUS ADOLESCENT SERVICES a comprehensive internet site of information and resources on teen and family issues:

Bullying is abusive behavior by one or more students against a victim or victims. It can be a direct attack -- teasing, taunting, threatening, stalking, name-calling, hitting, making threats, coercion, and stealing -- or more subtle through malicious gossiping, spreading rumors, and intentional exclusion. Both result in victims becoming socially rejected and isolated.

Boys tend to use physical intimidation or threats, regardless of the gender of their victims. Bullying by girls is more often verbal, usually with another girl as the target. Cyber-bullying by both boys and girls -- in online chat rooms, e-mail, and text-messaging -- is increasing.

Bullying is a common experience for many children and teens. Direct bullying seems to increase through the elementary school years, peak in the middle school/junior high school years, and decline during the high school years. Although direct physical assault seems to decrease with age, verbal abuse appears to remain constant.

Whether the bullying is direct or indirect, the key component of bullying is physical or psychological intimidation that occurs repeatedly over time to create an ongoing pattern of harassment and abuse.

Kids Health from Nemours site has articles for parents, kids and teens.

If your child is being bullied, there are ways to help him or her cope with it on a day-to-day basis and lessen its lasting impact. And even if bullying isn't an issue right in your house right now, it's important to discuss it so your kids will be prepared if it does happen.

Why Is My Child Anxious About Going to School?
When Should I Intervene During Teasing?
How Can I Teach My Daughter Tolerance?
Anxiety, Fears, and Phobias
Getting Involved at Your Child's School
How Can Parents Help Kids Handle Teasing?
How Can I Help My Child Deal With a Bully?

Kids, Home and Nature

The lifestyles of families and children are changing as exercise and activities in the fresh outdoor air decline.

As a kid I couldn't finish supper quickly enough so that I could go outdoors to play softball in the vacant lot or join the street hockey out front. There were many near zero cost, fresh air activities like roasting marshmallows at the back of the lot or exploring the neighborhood with the other kids that were always out doing something. There were an endless number of things to do and we seemed never to be bored; and it was pretty well all healthy. As we grew older there was fishing, hiking, swimming, skiing and hockey using up our free time and none were very costly.

Much of these pastimes would continue for many years and the memories too. In the winter there was an outdoor rink one block from home where we skated and played hockey in the evenings. As the temperatures were often well below freezing we regularly made trips to the adjacent wood hut where a pot bellied stove was humming. With our skates off we would rub our toes to ease the thawing as we chatted.

This kind of fun is still occurring in varied ways with families today, where they are able to, and inclined to make it happen. But it has also been made much more difficult. There are parents' busy days with work and commuting, so often required to maintain the 'in' lifestyle, for those that are tuned in to this very common trait in our society. Some sports can be an expensive part of kids' healthy entertainment today, but there are activities out there requiring little or no expense. Meeting in the park or on the road with a neighbor family for casual chat or to kick the ball around, Hiking or playing any outdoor game or working on a garden or other project with family can often be of no interest to many, yet such a valuable event going forward in life.

In the 40s we were also missing out on so much that is available today. We didn't have all these conveniences and technology, some of which are so wonderful, like the home computer. Having owned one for 25 years I would not want to do without.

Health wise perhaps some of the new wonders are not so wonderful, especially when the time that it consumes does not include outside exercise, learning, mixing with friends nor involve family time together. Being addicted to video games for example, does not add any value to one's life as this can gobble up hundreds of hours, but in small doses can be very entertaining.

Television is another story as the young, and old too, are often glued to the box for many hours a day. There are many drawbacks to watching stretched out programming that pumps commercials into the room telling us all about what we are missing and must have. Sadly many kids today may be stuck at home with this electronic companion.

In Green Living Ideas Reenita Malhotra Hora provides insight and suggestions in an interesting article:

Eco Kids, the Sustainable Generation
As you integrate green living choices into your own life, you might be wondering how kids fit into the equation. What does it really mean to have a "green kid?" Greening your children is about going beyond the things that you do to create a green lifestyle for your family—it is really all about education. Today’s kids will soon rule tomorrow’s world. The best that we can possibly do to prepare the next generations is to consistently teach them about the green living values that are critical for their own survival. After all, they do share a common future with our planet.

It goes on to list tips
Outdoor Education with green kid activity ideas.
Travel Time and exploring nature ideas.
Green at Play - giving kids some positive directional suggestions.
Green Media Toolbox - make less use but good use out of TV.

Above all, have your kids do as you would do yourself. The truth is kids learn more from there their parents than anyone or anything else—if living green is important to you, then rest assured they too will pick up the habit. You are without doubt the most important person in their life, and chances are they will want to do what you do. Remember though, you won’t have them for a very long, so while you do—teach your children well!
more . . . . Read the article by Reenita Malhotra Hora at Green Living Ideas.

This article is a revision and extension of an earlier post as per Article Blogs and Reposting.
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Mom as Corporate CEO?

Senior Management Position: Experienced mothers only need apply.

What a great task lies ahead for the woman as she bears her child, establishing that special bond for life.

So many challenges, pains and stresses are included in the demanding job description of motherhood. In this fast paced social tempest she will try her hardest and handle the difficult issues to the best of her ability, always with that deep inbred devotion, and with the needed support and love of her family.

What is stronger than a mother's love?

As a child you walked before me, to lead by example. As a teenager you walked behind me looking out for my back and being there when I needed you. As an adult you walk beside me so that, as two friends, we can enjoy life together. Love of Poems.

Washington Irving, "A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts."

In a sad country song Hank Snow pays honor to his parting mom.
There are friends who'll want you but just for a day
There are pals you think true but they'll cast you away
But there's one loving soul boys I'll sure recommend
Through this old world of sorrow she'll be true till the end. Mother.

If the capabilities required of motherhood were a prerequisite for top corporate management positions wouldn't this be a kinder and happier society?

A bit of history.
Mother's Day holiday, in the United States and Canada, celebrates motherhood generally and the positive contributions of mothers to society. It falls on the second Sunday of each May. It is the result of a campaign by Anna Marie Jarvis (1864–1948), who, following the death of her mother on May 9, 1905, devoted her life to establishing Mother's Day as a national, and later an international, holiday. More from Wikipedia.

Mothers' Day Proclamation by Julia Ward Howe
Boston, 1870. A tribute to mothers and women who had lost their sons in war.

Arise, then, women of this day! Arise, all women who have hearts, whether your baptism be that of water or tears!

Say firmly: "We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have taught them of charity, mercy and patience. We women of one country will be too tender of those of another to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the bosom of the devastated earth, a voice goes up with our own. It says, "Disarm, Disarm!"

The sword of murder is not the balance of justice. Blood not wipe out dishonor, nor violence indicate possession. As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women, to bewail & commemorate the dead. Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesars but of God.

In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a general congress of women without limit of nationality may be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.

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Selling Bad Health to Kids

Only in a mean society.

The marketing of cheaply produced, unhealthy junk food to kids is another blight on our prosperous society. It does not make sense: advertising and selling food products that are known to cause health problems later in life - directly to children.

How is this acceptable to caring people?
Where has the corporate friendship and ethic gone?
Why aren't governments more concerned about kid's lives?

I do not believe that the fault lies entirely with parents. Partly because they may have been brainwashed too, after many years of being subject to the massive corporate persuasion efforts. But the finger is commonly pointed to moms and dads, especially by business when confronted about their crude marketing tactics. Parents should know all about unhealthy food choices and the grief that can follow later in life, and they should educate their kids. But there are armies of advertisers with a wide ranging supply of tricks to conscript tots and teens to a life of poorer health with such as diabetes and stroke.

This is free enterprise but it is a flawed and cruel system if it can be used in this way. Allowing big business to reap profits from promoting product sales that knowingly cause personal harm should be severely restricted or made unlawful. But the will of politicians does not seem to be there. There is always the commercial connection popping up when there is discussion about troubling situations and government's lack of positive action on an issue.

Governments and corporations of this era will not be looked upon favorably in the history books.

Picture the big juicy burger with added cheese and dressing, or a tall, icy, sugar laden refreshment - appearing repeateadly during youth and child TV programming.

How about the cereal aisle in the supermarket, cartoon alley easily gets the attention of the little ones.

The continuous efforts of marketers are coming through strongly to kids and adolescents via many hours of watching TV or surfing the internet. The cleverly designed ads also show up in print, on buses, food packages, clothes, toys, and wherever it will get good exposure to children. The young will eat it all up; they don't have the experience to know better. They are ripe picking!

With all the finely tuned slick methods marketers use how easy can it be for parents to compete with the onslaught on their young loved ones? Even with good intentions there is peer influence, all the other kids are into it. Yes it is possible but difficult, and requires serious effort.

The emphasis and pressures that corporations put on kids for current and future sales revenue is by far a most lucrative selling technique that many companies now rely on. Catch the kids young and hold them for life. Establishing brands for food, clothing and tech gadgets at an early age can last a lifetime - very profitable and increasingly popular with the big manufacturers.

Sugar, salt and fat, the big bad three in food, they taste good and bring in lots of money. These ingredients and other additives can be very unhealthy when consumed in excessive amounts, yet they are very commonly over used in packaged foods and in restaurants, especially fast food outlets. They can be there to preserve product or simply to enhance taste.

The junk food industry has produced an epidemic of childhood obesity and other serious ailments. Even with food related health problems now well known they keep rising as the greedy efforts to market and sell more continues. It is the most 'rewarding' strategy used for increasing profits now and well into the future. But why isn't this a crime?

And where is there a balance? Campaigns for healthy eating exist but big money is not behind them, it is directed to the merchandising strategies that make the quickest profit. One suggestion is make unhealthy food costlier through taxing, and good food cheaper with subsidies. But why is there no action?

Free enterprise needs adjustments to fix this and provide our kids, future parents, a life free of avoidable sickness.

Speak of it when you can.

A few resources.
There are numerous related posts on this site.

The FCIC has a nice site with informative articles: The Road to a Healthy Life. These are the basic guidelines for eating a healthy diet and being physically active and may be viewed online and downloaded from the Internet. Topics include:
Go back to your roots: Eat all types of healthful food each day!
Food groups, using the Nutrition Facts label.
Nutrition and calories count! How many calories do you need?
Physical activity, food safety, and more.

A Scripps Research Study Shows Compulsive Eating Shares Same Addictive Biochemical Mechanism with Cocaine, Heroin Abuse.

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Nature, Kids and Family Losing

The world's resources are being used up at an accelerating pace resulting in great waste and massive garbage accumulation. It lies in huge dump sites and is also scattered throughout the globe on land and in seas. It spreads out as a disease, eating away at our natural surroundings.

Much of the globe remains a beautiful, calming and healthy system of natural resources. The enjoyment of this however is no longer easily accessible to many of us, and sadly to today's children who may be missing out altogether. But it is there for so many who have the desire and make the effort. There are simple outdoor activities like hikes in local parks to extended day treks, weekend camping and sports, casual and formal. But it gets more difficult as the social trends back away from nature's fresh and clean outdoor air.

We are being lured down the wrong path with continuing temptations towards lifestyles of eating unhealthy food and avoiding exercise. Negative health effects such as obesity and diabetes have been on a steady increase for many years, brought on by consuming junk food and poor quality packaged products.

There is also the trend to spending free hours indoors, sitting, without fresh air and health building exercise.

It is a serious condition of our times.

Technology is interesting and enjoyable; I know very well having owned a personal computer for 25 years. During an earlier time I found that when I was employed with outside work I would spend considerable after hours inside on my Radio Shack 32K Color Computer. And when working in an office free after hours were spent on home and yard improvements, outdoor sports and gardening.

Good balanced living is so important yet it is not there for much of youth as they arrive home from school and switch on the television or computer, or play video games. Lucky the family where the parents and children get outdoors together and are involved in active sports. With tots, an after dinner walk to the park or to a neighbor's yard for play sets a nice pattern for their future preferences going forward in life. An early introduction to the outdoors, and pastimes like hikes and gardening, will be such a long term benefit to a child in developing a healthful lifestyle. The alternative, with such as the excessive absorption of TV commercials is unfortunate.

Economics has brought about a popular in-the-home lifestyle. It is the result of the always strong business requirement to increase revenue in the home entertainment area, and also with the tremendous advancements in technology. Just as there is greater profit in food containing preservatives, growth hormones and other additives so goes the marketing of widely varied hi-tech gadgets. Much of these latest cool gizmos will be outdated in just a few short years.

There are profits to be made with the promotion of activities that include fresh air and exercise, but this has taken a back seat to the easier and lucrative merchandising of domesticated entertainment.

For so many it isn't easy to change this inactive lifestyle when parent's days are crammed and the kids are surrounded by persuasions and peer influence. It wasn't an issue 70 years ago when there was only radio, cards and board games to play together. Backyards, neighborhoods, parks and playgrounds were busy. And I was there.

The environment has some critical challenges lying ahead but there is still a great and wonderful nature out there that is both healthy and free. Getting children interested in the outdoors with both passive and active activities, starting from when they are first learning to walk, is a lifetime benefit to them. They learn about life from their moms and dads and they will be so thankful.

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Google: kids outdoor activity ideas

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Kids: Commercial Scapegoats?

Is trapping children the guarantee to future business expansion?

What an easy mark kids are for the big corporation when focusing on sales and profits extending into future years. Especially at an early age when they can be so easily swayed towards corporate choices of lifestyles of consumerism and the buying of certain products.

Of all the unethical happenings that are transpiring to further contaminate the commercial enterprise system, marketing to children is the most upsetting.

This cannot have been restrained much by government intervention or public demand because it is continually more invasive. There are intense commercials that brainwash the young innocent minds. Product displays like food packaging are specifically directed at kids. There are toys and giveaways to attract their attention to a product. It is all so well established and far-reaching that it is somewhat of a conquest of child, and family.

The competition amongst marketers to sell childhood products is very competitive and so the game play becomes more excessive. Trapping the little ones towards each marketer's product is the reward for clever marketing.

It's scary to imagine how far this can be taken. If children are allowed to be brainwashed in any way it should be towards living a healthier and happier life. This would include topics like honesty, nature, charity, friendship, healthy food and lifestyles.

Children are in the learning years of their lives and will absorb much of what is put to them, at home, school and elsewhere. In the classroom they are presumably taught the required educational basics for communicating and earning a living, and some values for living happily. This is also the object of parents whose most precious assets are their children.

Here the problem becomes more difficult and the results less desirable since many parents have already succumbed to this materialistic lifestyle to some degree. They may be just too busy or unaware of what is happening to a whole generation.

Have we lost the battle and the war against the commercial mega-machines? Have many of us not already lost some of our truest values to big business? Do we want our children to travel down this path?

Parents should not be left alone to fight the huge tide of marketing that promotes and persuades children in an artificial direction. Government for the people should be for the people, and that includes kids! Solid support by our politicians in the form of strict legislation favoring families over commerce is sorely required, long overdue, and yes, a monumental task at this point in time.

But they will only act effectively and in favor of the little citizens when it is demanded of them. So let's get interested and turn this around. Check out the advocacy websites, post on family and social change forums and blogs. Discuss your concerns with your co-workers, friends and neighbors. Web search the topics that most concern you.

Examples of resources dealing with marketing to kids.

Monitor on Psychology - Advertising to children: Is it ethical?
Some psychologists cry foul as peers help advertisers target young consumers.

The New American Dream reviews a book by consumer expert Juliet Schor on this very disturbing trend.

The Commercialized Child and the New Consumer Culture by consumer expert Juliet Schor, explores the damaging effects advertising and marketing have on children. According to this breakthrough research, the advertising-saturated culture our children are exposed to is causing an array of psychosomatic symptoms.

Expenditures for advertising and marketing aimed specifically at children have risen to over $15 billion a year. This amount is likely to grow with the increase in children’s buying power, now estimated at more than $30 billion a year in direct purchases. Children influence an additional $670 billion worth of parental spending, making them a prime advertising target. It’s estimated that the average child watches more than 40,000 television commercials per year. According to a recent poll released by the Center for a New American Dream nearly 8 in 10 of Americans (79%) think there should be more limits on advertising to children. The majority of Americans (87%) think that our current consumer culture makes it harder to instill positive values in our children.

The review cites the book's six tips to help parents reduce a child’s exposure to advertising. This is really worth reading if you have kids.
The full review at The New American Dream.

Amy Jussel's Shaping Youth blog is a heart warming big effort devoted to media and marketing's influence on kids. Nice work Amy!

Grampa Ken ~ Author of 32 KEYS About Life and Blogger at Social-Fix

Other posts about kids here at Social Fix

Live and Learn Like Kids

Live, laugh, work, and learn - like children.

Small kids could teach us a bit about living and enjoying each day to the fullest, if we have forgotten how.

Children know how to apply determination to do what they want to do. Watch a baby learn to walk. And children know how to laugh and have fun, when some of us have lost much of humor over the past decade or more.

For so many, living on a merry-go-round of doing things that must be done, as well as doing things which do not need to be done, has not left much time for the simple pleasures of life.

Many of us have forgotten how to take a real break, to rest and refresh our thoughts and to have a bit of fun, even though it's so very important. Our daily life includes responsibilities concerning work, family, other people, and dealing with various problems. To have a fulfilling day in the process try to not take on too many different things. Review regularly your lifestyle, pleasures, principles, conduct and goals, because it is so easy to go off track.

We are what we think according to Buddha so we ought to think happiness as we start each day. We can reflect about things that can improve our feelings like pleasant and relaxing experiences and words. Memories and incidents can bring a smile and a positive change of thought, if we will take the time.

Some remembrances of how kids see things differently just make me feel good.

Salesmanship
We were eating dinner a long while back when our kids' 4 yr old friend from across the backyard came to call them outside. I answered the door and told Billy they couldn't just now, they were eating dinner. By this time he had his foot inside the door. "Can I come in?" - "No, come back a bit later." - "But my Dad said I could!"

Learning
Kids usually like to talk and ask a lot of questions and increase their knowledge about everything. When our daughter was 4 years old she watched as I washed the car on a cool fall day. She never stopped talking all the while and asked dozens of questions, one right after the other. It slowed up the wash job very pleasantly and painted a permanent picture in my mind.

Our 3 year old son was interested in medicine at the time and once crossed from the back yard with a beet root strung over the back of his neck; "Me the doctor!" Another time he referred to a bulrush as a wiener flower but immediately learned its true name.

Management career intentions
Then there's our grandson, now he has a mind of his own, even at 3. Attempting to get him to do it my way, I told him I was the boss here. He said he was the boss. I said that he was the small boss and I was the big boss. So he stood on his toes, stretched and very seriously said: "I'm the biggest boss!"

More learning
Last year I was entering the library as a young man and his 3-4 yr old daughter were leaving. Dad was saying: "No that's not a store. It's a library. That's where they keep all the books." Libraries may never have the same influence on her that corporate marketing and the media will, but then that depends . . . .

Honesty and milking the system
I was about 4 and living where I had not yet started school. It was Halloween night and I was making my 3rd trip around the block with my 2 year older brother. When the lady asked, "Haven't you been here before?" I answered yes, two times.

In raising a family there are so many precious words spoken by kids that are mostly forgotten. I would advise anyone starting out to keep a small notepad and a diary to record it all for later years.

And maybe we can learn a thing or two once again.

Related posts on children

This Creative Commons article is free to copy with the following hyperlinked byline.
Grampa Ken - Author of 32 Keys About Life - and blogger for change at Social-Fix.

Brainwashed Generations

It irks me to see advertisements indicating the necessity to maintain status by purchasing bigger and better products or certain brands. These procurements do not make a better person although we could be inclined to believe they do with the success of this type of marketing in past years.

The business ethics of many corporations are becoming meaner as they are allowed a rather free reign on their methods. A sad example is the advertising directed at kids which I view as a loathsome way to do business.

We may be 'lucky' enough to be living in an over-commercialized, over-consuming and somewhat artificial part of the world, but there is something very wrong here. The young are being programmed for life, for corporate profit and we seem to be accepting this as a standard way of living in today's society.

Our richer economies are based on corporate expansion and there is much promotional drive to attain it. The marketing which is very competitive is well near saturation as we acquire everything we realistically need, and more. New inroads to consumers are needed by hungry enterprise and they have targeted kids to keep the ball rolling.

From Media Scape:
An American marketer in the 1980s described children’s television as a business based on three simple ideas: Keep the audience up Keep the costs down Keep the regulators out. (Schneider, 1987, p5) Then television producers found they could get someone else to pay for children’s television: toy companies. They have never looked back. The ‘demographic’ of children has become the new marketing gold rush. In the two decades since the 1980s, little people’s fun has become big people’s profit! Children’s popular culture is commercialized whether we like it or not.
Read more . . .

A New Internationalist article discusses the targeting of kids as a way to greater profits.
Catch ’em young and brand ’em!
The ad biz bombards children and young people because the bottom line is cold hard cash. They’d rather chase urban trend surfers with brass in pocket, but their crossfire hits all kids. The children they’re gunning for not only have purchasing power but significantly influence their parents’ purchases. In the US, teens spend more than $300 billion a year and influence parental spending to the tune of $1.8 trillion. Between 1990 and 2000, the amount of money spent targeting children grew tenfold.
Much more here . . .

Government could fix this mean and greedy targeting of young minds but are slow about positive social changes, appearing to have a bias towards expanding commerce. If consuming families are upset with the trends in marketing they are also generally passive, being caught up in this web along with so many others.

As merchandising 'ingenuity' intensifies each year just where will another generation be taken?

Society and Family Stressed

There has been a social trend in the richer parts of the world towards acquiring material assets over happiness. By way of media we are encouraged towards self-interest over interest in others and the spirit of the community, at least in the friendliest ways. As we increasingly devote our life efforts to acquiring more goods and services we are often in competition with friends, fellow workers and neighbors, wishing and striving for something new or better. We may want to be cool in the eyes of all that will regard us, and they might have similar aspirations.

If we struggle to earn more to acquire more we may be depriving ourselves of sufficient casual fun time with friends and most importantly, family. Along with this desire for more and better things comes more stress into our lives and into the lives of those around us. The family may become more fractured as we work long hours and the kids watch more TV programs and play video games. In this environment they will become even more commercialized than their parents, as marketing whets their appetites for more stuff.

Are we too busy doing the wrong things for the wrong reasons?

There are tremendous influences to continue along this path as it generates more corporate and personal profits which society has become so accustomed to 'need'. So we strive and stress on for new false achievements losing out on some true basic and pleasant experiences in life.

If we are in this endless routine we should consider what Marcus Aurelius had to say 1800 years ago, "Think of what you have rather than of what you lack. Of the things you have, select the best and then reflect how eagerly you would have sought them if you did not have them."

In other words it's a merry-go-round that we do not need to be on and should consider jumping from.

Geela Author at "The American Dream" asks
"From environmental pollution to spiritual pollution, from artificial food to artificial joy - these are the side effects of the pursuit of materialism (a by-product of the American Dream, as we know it). Today, everything is fair game in the pursuit of pleasure and avoidance of pain and personal responsibility, not to mention the absence of morality and a wholesome values system.?"

Tackling this problem as a whole society seems rather hopeless at this point in time as it is so entrenched, but there are ways. One suggestion is directing the young towards achieving happiness in lieu of buying more.

In Battling the roots of materialism by focusing on happiness Penny Nickel cites a study which "appears to suggest that even though many young people think having consumer goods is what makes them happy, if they start to feel better about themselves their focus will shift to non-materialistic priorities like friends and family. In other words, if a teen you know is begging for pricey items, you may be better off spending more quality time with them-- boosting their self-esteem, and thus increasing their relative appreciation of your company compared to the material goods-- rather than spending that extra time earning the money to buy them what they want."

The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family. ~ Thomas Jefferson

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Junk Food, Obesity, Kids

It's been both puzzling and upsetting for many years to see ads, logos and fun attractions used to entice children into wanting and consuming unhealthy junk food. Through heavy and shrewd marketing it spreads throughout the world. For profit.

What will a generation yet unborn say about society at our time in history, about this and other negatives programmed into the public at large?

Will corporate managers, governments, or the public shoulder most of the blame for doing this to kids?

While people have a choice and make the final decision to purchase and consume a food that might be harmful, there has been too much persuasion to do so. The methods used have been varied, clever and intensive, and so much of it unethical. It appears business has been allowed to use exaggerated or misleading statements, omissions of important facts and always-in-your-face marketing to old and young alike.

The three fast or packaged food ingredients of salt, sugar and fat are generally known to be unhealthy in excessive amounts. But they are good tasting and profitable. Preservatives and taste enhancing additives are also widely used today and have raised many concerns about overuse.

Children and Charity

In this unbalanced world of rampant consumerism and devastating poverty the following article should give cause for reflection.

The Giving Jar
by Rachel Paxton

Giving with a happy heart. If you teach a child to give with a happy heart you will raise a child who will never hesitate to lend a helping hand. Children enjoy helping others, especially if they see their parents doing the same. When a child's basic physical and emotional needs are met, they are willing to share almost anything they have with someone in need

My daughter wanted to help others from the time she was old enough to understand what it was she was doing. Before she was old enough for an allowance she helped me go through her outgrown clothes and toys to give away to charities. At Christmastime we would shop together for needy families (she looked forward to this as much as picking out her own gifts). And this doesn't mean we weren't needy ourselves. When my daughter was young I was a single mom working and going to college, and I was barely able to make ends meet. What little we had left over, however, we used to help others. I am convinced that this act of helping others took my daughter's focus off of our own circumstances and created a passion in her for helping others. She always had food to eat and clothes to wear -- she did not sense a lack in her life and so was willing to freely give anything she had.

As my daughter got older and started getting an allowance, she started spending her own money. She spent her allowance on family Christmas and birthday presents (however small), started tithing, and started contributing to charities of her choice. My daughter's allowance is relatively small, compared to some of her friends, but that doesn't keep her from making contributions, no matter how small, to people and organizations she wants to help. Now that she's old enough to babysit, she has even more money to decide what to do with. She decides what to spend on herself, what to save, and what to give to others.

Our family recently came up with an idea of how we could work together to save up some money to help others. I am forever picking up loose change around the house, on the floor, in the car, and in the bottom of my purse. We decided to start a "Giving Jar" where we could deposit our spare change, and then as the occasion arose, we would use it to help others. We all pooled together our spare change and we already had more than $15. I placed the jar on the kitchen counter and put a big label on it that says "Giving Jar." It has motivated us all to save more and is also a great conversational piece!

Don't think you have to have a lot of money to give others a helping hand. Any amount, no matter how small, develops in your child the gift of a giving heart.

Copyright 2001. Originally published at Suite 101. Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer, mom, and owner of four home and family web sites. Visit her web site for complete resources for the Christian home

"If you lend money, it is uncertain whether you shall be repaid; but if you bestow alms, although they may be small, your return will be a hundred fold." - Saskya Pandita

As I prepared to post this article I felt an online contribution was in order and chose Oxfam International. There are so many very needy and worthy causes and it only takes a few minutes. Charity Guide offers a long list of charities.

Competition and Kids

The Cost of Competition on Kids
by Rae Pica

The subject of competition is one that provokes some pretty strong feelings in the United States. In fact, even hinting that competition might not be such a great thing can cause one to be labeled un-American.

The prevailing belief is that competition is good for everyone – that someone without a strong competitive nature is just a wimp. That being competitive is human nature and to be noncompetitive is to have been born without a necessary gene.

But is it human nature, or is it learned behavior? The research shows that, given a choice, most preschoolers prefer cooperative to competitive activities. This would seem to indicate that dog-eat-dog is not a natural inclination. And in a New York Times essay, Nicholas Kristof told a hilarious story about trying to teach the game of musical chairs to a group of five-year-old Japanese children, who kept politely stepping out of the way so others could sit in their chairs. This would certainly seem to indicate “dog-eat-dog” is taught in some societies – and not taught in others.

In America we play musical chairs in child-care centers, during play dates, and at almost every preschooler’s birthday party. The rules say that a chair is removed with every round – and one more child gets to sit against the wall and watch everybody else continue to have fun. The game is over when there remains one winner – and lots of losers.

In case you don’t recall from your own childhood (or maybe you were always the one winner among many losers), being eliminated feels lousy, as does feeling like a loser. And those other kids you’re playing with? For the duration of the game they’re not your friends; they’re what’s standing in your way. Children only have to play this game once to know that, if they’re not going to be labeled losers, they have to do whatever it takes to win. And we’ve all seen what that means: punching, poking, kicking, scratching, screaming, and shoving. It’s no wonder the research shows that competition fosters antisocial behaviors.

When parents consistently place their children in situations where winning is the ultimate goal – where the winners are considered heroes and the losers “losers” – winning is what they come to value. They learn that only the end result counts, not the process involved in getting there. Further, when parents themselves fail to conduct themselves with character, their actions speak much louder than any words preached about good sportsmanship and the value of teamwork and cooperation. While the goal of many parents is to give their children a running start on the development of sports skills (because success in sports certainly must equal success in life!), the research shows that competition is actually detrimental to skill development. One reason is fear of failure and its resulting stress, which isn’t conducive to either learning or performance. Young children, in particular, are susceptible to this problem because pleasing their parents means so much to them. And when their parents focus on winning – either through action (screaming on the sidelines) or words (asking “Who won?” instead of “Did you have fun?”) – winning becomes the children’s goal as well.

Of course, you may think the goal of winning would be enough to propel children into performing their best. But young children aren’t cognitively ready to make that connection. They attribute winning or losing to ability, not effort. Nor are they emotionally ready to handle the pressure of playing mistake-free games. And they’re not physically ready to play without making mistakes!

Finally, when product (winning) is emphasized over process (making an effort), extrinsic reward is granted more validity than intrinsic reward. As a result, trophies and championships become the whole point of participation. And while this may not seem like such a bad thing in a goal-oriented society, we’re back to the issue of the young child’s stage of development. Children under the age of eight are motivated by pleasure. And, yes, winning feels good when everyone around you is making a big deal out of it. But does that feeling last? And what about the children who aren’t winning?

Dare I say it? Winning isn’t everything. And if we want our children to grow up to be self-assured, character-driven adults – who also happen to have positive feelings about physical activity – then it really shouldn’t be.

Rae Pica is a children’s physical activity specialist and the author of Your Active Child: How to Boost Physical, Emotional, and Cognitive Development through Age-Appropriate Activity (McGraw-Hill, 2003). Rae speaks to parent and education groups throughout North America.

Visit her and read more articles at Moving and Learning. ~ ~ ~ Article Source

Global Children Deaths

In a world of where so many have so much to waste it is difficult to comprehend; there is still deep and widespread poverty, hunger and starvation. As we spend wildly, often on useless desires, there are kids living in sickness and destined to short lives.

Anup Shah from a page created Sunday, May 06, 2007
Today, over 27,000 children died around the world

Around the world, 27–30,000 children die every day.

That is equivalent to:

1 child dying every 3 seconds
20 children dying every minute
A 2004 Asian Tsunami occurring almost every week
An Iraq-scale death toll every 15–35 days
10–11 million children dying every year
Over 50 million children dying between 2000 and 2005
The silent killers are poverty, hunger, easily preventable diseases and illnesses, and other related causes. In spite of the scale of this daily/ongoing catastrophe, it rarely manages to achieve, much less sustain, prime-time, headline coverage.

Why is this tragedy not in the headlines?

Unfortunately, it seems that the world still does not notice. It might be reasonable to expect that death and tragedy on this scale should be prime time headlines news. Yet, these issues only surface when there are global meetings or concerts (such as the various G8 summits, the Make Poverty History campaign in 2005, etc).

Furthermore, year after year, we witness that when those campaigns end and the meetings conclude, so does the mainstream media coverage. It feels as though even when there is some media attention, the ones who suffer are not the ones that compel the mainstream to report, but instead it is the movement of the celebrities and leaders of the wealthy countries that makes this issue newsworthy.

Even rarer in the mainstream media is any thought that wealthy countries may be part of the problem too. The effects of international policies, the current form of globalization, and the influence the wealthy countries have on these processes is rarely looked at.

Instead, promises and pledges from the wealthy, powerful countries, and the corruption of the poorer ones—who receive apparently abundant goodwill—make the headlines; the repeated broken promises, the low quality and quantity of aid, and conditions with unfair strings attached do not.

Read the entire article at Global Issues.

The Global Issues web site looks into issues that affect everyone. There are over 550 articles on poverty, globalization, human rights, geopolitics, and the environment. A nice humane effort here by Anup Shah.

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